The internet is FUCKING CRAZY.
Okay, check this out. About two weeks ago, I get an e-mail saying that a comment has been posted to “It Seems History Is To Blame,” which is (at that time) a month-old entry. The comment is: “We are healthy to only to the degree to which our ideas are humane,” which is completely irrelevant to the entry; what’s really odd, though, is that the poster has given the name of a friend of mine (who I will not identify); in the “Webpage” field, the poster has put the URL for a penis-enlargement site.
So I ask my friend what in the world she was doing. She responds that she didn’t post a comment, that she doesn’t even read my blog (thanks!), and that she’s a little weirded out that someone is posting comments using her name–especially since that comment is a quote from Kurt Vonnegut’s “Breakfast of Champions”; it’s what’s written on Kilgore Trout’s tombstone. So there might be a moderately literate threat implicit here. I give her the IP address for the poster, we do some irresponsible speculation about who it might be, and eventually it’s bedtime.
Cut to about half an hour ago. I find that I have another comment on that same entry, from the same e-mail address–firstname.lastname@example.org–and with the same penis-enlargement URL, except this time the name given is “Allison Schwartz” (or “Schwartz Allison”), who I don’t think I know. And this quote is of a more directly creepy nature:
“Buildings burn. People die. But real love is forever.”
Okay, so now, I’M the one being stalked. I figure I’d better find out who the hell this Allison is–a friend from high school? College? Of course, a Google search for a name that generic yields too much to sort through, so I do a Google search on the e-mail address.
The first thing I find is something for “Mike Cohen’s Weblog,” an entry entitled “Warning to email@example.com.” It begins, “I’m NOT interested in a bigger you-know-what and neither are the other people who read my weblog.”
Yes, some Spambot has been leaving supposedly philosophical comments on people’s old blog entries (for more, check this out), all of them linking to the same penis-enlargement site. The best blogger comment I found on this was from “El Weblog de Lubo”: “Esto es un puto spammer.”
This is so goddamn ridiculous I don’t know where to begin. First of all, these comments were posted to an old entry; if I wasn’t signed up to receive e-mails when I get comments, I would never even know about it. Second, to my mind, the kind of people who are interested in such “philosophical” statements are not the kind who are going to invest in penis-enlargement just because they clicked a link and found themselves there. How, exactly, was this supposed to work? “Ah, a Vonnegut quote! Let’s go to this person’s webpage and…oh my! Well, I have been considering something like this…” I mean, is a stereotype of bloggers and blog readers that we have small cocks? Maybe someone would have been kind enough to let me know?
It’s just more proof that spamming is the lowest form of advertising. If you fool me into going into a site, I don’t see why I would then decide to buy a product there, anymore than taking me to Ikea against my will would make me likely to leave with a sofa.
The one mystery in this sordid affair is how my friend’s name got involved. I mean, it’s not a generic name, not like “Mary Jones” or something (or “Allison Schwartz” for that matter). She’s never commented on my blog or anything. If anyone has ideas, let me know.
Anyway, if you have a Movable Type blog and are interested in preventing this from happening to you, you can block that poster. The IP address is 184.108.40.206, and the e-mail address is located above. Me, I may not block it just yet…since the posts are on old entries, no harm is done, and I’m pretty interested to see what other bon mots this Allison Schwartz has to offer.
UPDATE: On second thought, I’ve blocked the IP address. I’d rather not encourage spammers if I can help it.