August 24, 2004

My car is better than your shoes

Filed under: Get your motor runnin' — tomemos @ 1:24 pm

I failed my second driving test. I was freaking myself out, putting so much energy into appearing to be an alert driver, looking around like a neurotic poodle, that I didn’t actually notice things like, y’know, yield signs. Believe it or not, I feel pretty good about the whole thing (not to say I didn’t do some swearing afterwards)–I feel like I finally have the perspective & patience to I suppose part of it is that there’s no way now to take the test before I go back down south, so that bit of pressure is off. Anyway, I’ll re-take in a couple weeks.

So, it turns out I’m on my way back to Orange County as a non-driver after all. As a consolation prize, however, I have a car! I’ve bought Julie’s beleaguered red Neon in preparation for when I finally, finally, finally get my license. And I even have a name for it! In view of its many mechanical…intricacies, and in honor of the musical artist who gave us the song “My Hooptie,” I dub the–pardon, my–car, “Sir Fix-A-Lot.”

Rollin’ four deep, tires smoke up the block
Gotta roll this bucket, ’cause my Benz is in the shop
Four door nightmare, trunk locks’ stuck
Big dice on the mirror, grill like a truck
Lifters tickin’, accelerator’s stickin’
Somethin’ on my left front wheel keeps clickin’

(This is just tough love. It’s a good car. I like the car. It drives fine. However, it is true that I can’t take the drive test in it because the speedometer doesn’t always work.)


August 20, 2004

Any way you look at this, you lose

Filed under: Laws and Sausages — tomemos @ 7:06 am

A couple nights ago, I had two separate dreams that Bush won the election. In one of them, he won with 80% of the popular vote. I say dreams; they were really nightmares, in the sense that I woke up panting both times. It was, as the cliche says, just so real.

Last night, I dreamt that I met John Kerry. We talked about politics, and about the Simpsons. Teresa was cracking jokes. It was all extremely warm and comforting.

I need this election to be over, and I need Kerry to have won. I’m never going to make it to November.

August 16, 2004

Enhanced levity is assured

Filed under: Funny Stuff — tomemos @ 8:42 am

I’ve added a new webcomic to the links. It’s called Team Special Olympics and it’s great. (Thanks to Qwantz for the link.) Here are a couple to get you started.

August 9, 2004

My friends all drive porsches, I must make amends

Filed under: Get your motor runnin' — tomemos @ 4:47 pm

I’m sorry that I haven’t been updating, but you see, not much has been happening. This has sometimes been good (lots of time to watch movies with Julie) and sometimes very dull (trying not to let on how little I have to do at work), but it adds up to not much blog material.

Now, I was hoping to update the blog today with the good news that I passed my driver’s test, but events did not cooperate; I rolled onto the curb while backing up, within five minutes of leaving the DMV. Now I’m on the phone trying to schedule another appointment–he’s so resilient! And stubborn!–and smooth jazz is playing. This can only be calculated to annoy me.

I’m confident I can pass next time–I only made one mistake, and everyone says I’m driving well enough to pass–but it’s a pretty anticlimactic result of all this build-up, particularly since learning to drive seems to be the only Big Summer Project I’ve made any progress on. Plus I get frustrated with failure very, very easily.

So yeah, not a bad summer–very good at times–but I feel like I’m idling (not to say spinning my wheels). I think in the future I’m going to stay in Irvine and teach during the summer. It’s kind of a devil’s bargain–interesting occupation, boring surroundings–but the fact is I’d rather have the free time, and maybe even use it on reading and writing essays in the like. After all, this is going to be a requirement eventually anyway. I’m glad I came back to the Bay Area for this summer, but it looks like it’ll have to be an occasional treat from here on.

…And I had the perfect title for the I-passed-the-test entry, too. Goddammit, how many song lyrics about cars can I be expected to come up with?

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