Gentlemen, behold: My 2004 Halloween costume! Duffman! OH YEAH!
By my reckoning, my top 10 Halloween costumes:
1: 2002. Aquaman. Bleached hair, dishwashing gloves, tights, green underwear, orange shirt with drawn-on scales.
2: 2004. Duffman. Trucker hat, sunglasses, cape, muscle shirt, runner’s belt with Budweiser.
3: Circa 1989. Shark. Full-body cloth shark costume.
4: Circa 1987. Trapjaw (villain from Masters of the Universe). Papier-mache Trapjaw helmet.
5: 1998. Georgie (droog from A Clockwork Orange). Top hat, white shirt, white jeans, jock strap and cup (as a codpiece), steel-toed boots, cane. Accompanied by Alex, Pete, and Dim.
6: Circa 1992. Serial killer. Plastic knife, fake blood, Albert Einstein mask with balloon inside (held as a severed head).
7: 1999. The Dread Pirate Roberts. Black head scarf, black eyemask, black gloves, black shirt, black pants, boots, sword.
8: 2003. Waldo. Round glasses, red-and-white striped shirt, jeans. No hat.
9: Circa 1991. Death. Red plastic skull mask with cowl and hologram eyes, robe, scythe.
10: Circa 1990. Pirate.
Man, what a great holiday. A number of my friends have already outgrown it, which strikes me as such a shame. Admittedly my maturity level might be a little low on this score–for instance, Halloween is the only time I enjoy clothes shopping–but a really well-chosen and well-executed Halloween costume is a chance to show off your craftiness (D+) and nerdiness (A+) all in one. Some people customize their computers, I dress up like superheroes.