July 2, 2006

Go Prose! Beat Poetry!

Filed under: Literati and Cognoscenti — tomemos @ 10:53 pm

True Tales of Tomemos Cleverness, Volume N: Tonight I was out playing Apples to Apples at a friend’s house, and an acquaintance came in wearing a clever t-shirt. It had a picture of Shakespeare’s face, and below it the text said “Prose before hoes.” I couldn’t read it clearly at first, so I asked, “Hey, Alex, what does your shirt say?”

“It says ‘Prose before hoes,'” Alex said.

“That’s funny,” I said. “Because Shakespeare wrote almost no prose. Everything he wrote was poetry and drama.”

You might expect that the general reaction to this was silent looks of incredulous annoyance. But no, the entire room burst into laughter and cries of “Good point!” Alex’s reaction, fairly enough, was, “I hate graduate students.” And who wouldn’t?

By the way, while we’re on the topic of my cleverness, my best Apples to Apples win that night (and maybe ever) was on the adjective “Confused.” I won it by playing a card that, I said, was the very embodiment of confusion. The card was “Confucius.”

(Title courtesy of Dutch Missionary Records.)



  1. On behalf of all of us at Dutch Missionary Records, I’d like to say, “Tom, there’ll be a little extra something in your pay envelope this month.”

    Comment by Patrick K. — July 3, 2006 @ 12:53 am

  2. Tomemos, Nerd among Nerds.

    Comment by kindle — July 3, 2006 @ 11:23 am

  3. He hates graduate students for ruining his Shakespeare shirt? Sometimes we feel like we hate others when the person we really don’t like is much, much closer.

    Comment by forgottenboy — July 3, 2006 @ 7:47 pm

  4. Maybe he can trade in his now-ruined Shakespeare shirt for one that just says, “I hate graduate students.”

    Comment by Devin — July 4, 2006 @ 3:44 pm

  5. Look, I love that shirt. I want that shirt. Maybe it is funnier because he wrote so little prose, hrm? Ever think about that, smart boy? Maybe you are saying Shakespeare limited amount of prose is still more important than hos. That’s how not important hos are. In conclusion, please buy me this shirt.

    Comment by Cimorene — July 9, 2006 @ 3:14 am

  6. Way to RUIN a perfectly good t-shirt. Now whenever someone compliments the shirt, the poor guy will say (with a tear in his once-youthful eye), “thanks, but it’s all bullshit. Shakespeare wrote very little prose. I’m a fraud.”

    I hope you’re happy.

    Comment by Bret — July 17, 2006 @ 12:38 pm

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