tomemos

July 11, 2006

…But the damage is irreversible

Filed under: Laws and Sausages — tomemos @ 11:06 pm

None of this is my invention or discovery, but it’s too good not to share:

The most recent published list of White House staffer salaries include figures for what Think Progress has called the four most overpaid White House staffers:

–Two Ethics Advisors, being paid $114k and 106k, respectively;

–A Director of Fact Checking ($46k); and,

–A Director of Lessons Learned ($106k).

First of all, Director of Lessons Learned is too good to be real (and yet it’s absolutely real). I imagine that he outranks the Director of Winning Not Being Everything, though he and the Minister of Just Say You’re Sorry and We’ll Forget All About It must have some brutal power struggles.

Let’s keep going with this, actually; I’d like to see an entire government made up of parental clichés. The Honesty is the Best Policymakers! The Department of The Important Thing is Your Health & Human Services!

Second, note that the Director of Fact Checking makes less than half of either of the Ethics Advisors (to say nothing, I’m sure, of the Ethics Director). Two things occur: one, the lack of resources allocated to fact checking explains a lot, and two, the Administration could really be getting a better return on its Ethics investment.

Actually, the funniest thing written on this (apart from the report itself) was a comment by one “ohdave” on the Think Progress site:

WH staff meeting:

Let’s move on to Ethics. What do you have?

Nothing.

That’s 876 days in a row!

Correct sir.

Great. Lessons learned?

Still nothing sir. If we ever learn a lesson I’ll let you know. Yesterday I thought we learned one but turned out to be another false alarm.

Facts?

No facts to check sir. I keep checking my inbox. Is my email working?

Well, we just don’t use a lot of facts around here that need checking. OK, before we get to the Director of Making Shit Up, let’s take a break. You know how he goes on and on…

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2 Comments »

  1. They obviously forgot to hire the Enforcer of Go Stand in the Corner Without Any Dinner and I Better Not Hear Another Peep From You Until I’m Good and Ready.

    Comment by locks — July 12, 2006 @ 9:24 am

  2. This is too goddamn funny. And yet another example of how the Bush White House has rendered satire redundant.

    Comment by Devin — July 21, 2006 @ 8:30 pm


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